update

So yeah....its officially over between James and I. It doesn't have time or want to focus on a relationship right now. But he still wants to hang out.....whatever. I'm back to your bubbly single friend. If you know any cute/fun single guys send them my way! :)

Boring

Haven't really done much lately. Heather's down from New York....haven't tried to kill her yet..big plus! Been a bit of a disappointing weekend, was supposed to have done something with James everyday..but each times plans have to get canceled. I guess I should be used to it by now, but it still sucks. Especially since he got drunk today instead of taking me to the jazz and ribs fest. like he said. GRRR! Other than that things are getting better...I think. Having him actually answer txts and calls is so nice. Hope he keeps it up.

La La La

Sooooooo, I think (big emphasis on the think) that things are getting better. James is responding to my texts again...always a plus. One major reason for me to think that way is for the first time since I moved to my new place he came over after work. Normally he has to get back to Columbus pronto...but yesterday morning he came to my place. It was a very good morning ;) haha. I was shocked, I really didn't expect that...it was a nice surprise..I hope I can have a few more of those types of mornings. I just hope that it was a sign that we are going to make it. Anywho...Heather is coming in on Thursday..I'm putting her up @ my place, so I had to go to the store to get Veggie people food. This actually wasn't too bad, b/c most of the crap I buy meat is optional in it...so it works. Also I passed the Franklin County S.O's test and got called to take the typing test. I take that today @ 1:20. I'm nervous and excited...I really really hope I get it. It starts out @ $17.71/hr. that would be super! Plus there's a $.65 shift differentail. So if I got hired and got placed on 3rds...I'd be making just about double what I'm making now...crazy! Well that's all that's going on with me..for now :)

HMMM..

So now that all the excitiment is over...crossing finger....James and I can try to focus on us a little more. Which we really need to. This whole situation put a huge amount of stress on the both of us and our relationship. The fact we made it out mostly together is amazing. But it did put out a lot of questions and I'm mistrustful of all his exes now. Of course I told him that, and I hope he listened. If it hadn't been for this situation the ex thing would bother me...who wouldn't it bother?, but now it flat out iratates me to death. I'm not sure that will change....anytime soon. I hope we do work it out. I didn't drive him, myself, and all my loving adoring friends crazy for nothing dang it!! LOL I just feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my chest. Now if I can just get a new better paying job.

Drum roll please!

She passed!

Sorry I haven't been keeping up on this. I've just been in a fog of bad humor lately. James and I are still on a break it doesn't seem to be getting any better. Plus I just haven't felt like talking about whats going on with other people. I've just wanted to put myself in a bubble. I know I shouldn't but I'm sheltering myself. I know whats going to happen, I'm kind of ready for it..I guess. I just don't want to deal with it right now. Plus I don't want to be a downer for everybody. And today would have been our 1yr anniversary. I guess its not that big of a deal, but it was to me, b/c it would have been my 1st one. So sad to say..I was kind of looking forward to it. Oh well.

I'm just so tired of him saying its not about feelings or I shouldn't take things so personally. How can you not when for nearly a year you're with someone and then all this other crap comes up out of nowhere, and changes everything. It is personal...it does change emotions and everything. I'm not a complete ice queen with no feeling whatso ever. Right now I wish I was, because then this wouldn't bother me. But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? I'm going to be one tough cookie when I get through this...in theory.