A little sad

I know its been a long time since I've posted. I'm such a slacker. Was sitting watching Christmas specials, while the kids are getting their showers done, and waiting for James to get home. I started to think about my Grandma. I can't believe its been 2yrs since she passed. This time of year hasn't gotten any easier. She passed on December 9, 2008. It hits at Thanksgiving because her birthday was November 27. She would've turned 82. Mom handled it pretty well. I was actually with her for a little bit that day. Then on the anniversary of her death I was with mom again. I think that helped her. I was a little blue around Thanksgiving, and I was ok with the anniversary.....but man the closer Christmas gets the harder its getting for me. I know why, I know its because I miss the crowded house filled with all the Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. We may not have liked each other, but we loved her. I miss her soo much, and its so cute because Trinity makes what Heather and I call Grandma faces. I hate to bum people out, just needed to get somethings off my chest. James would be supportive...maybe. I just don't want to seem like a freak for being all gloomy at what should be a happy holiday. I think I get so down, because everything collapsed on that side of the family after she passed. Which lets face it, I completely expected it. But also because she didn't get to meet Trinity, or James or Joe (Heather's husband). Thanks for listening(reading) my depressing posting. I promise to try to do better at keeping up with this thing. I swear!